I'm back in Chicago visiting my family for my brother's 30th birthday. It feels so strange to not have my dad around. Jocelyn and I both missed his bug bone-crushing hugs and kisses we usually got when we walked in the door. His mountain of papers no longer sits by his leather lazy boy. There's a hole in the garage where is car used to be. The office door finally closes again since his rows of fleeces and flannel shirts are gone too.
As soon as we walked in the house, Elijah did a quick run through and then asked, "where's grampa?" It was tough remembering just three short months back. But at dinner, little Artie took big Artie's spot at the table. He's never sat there before. It was almost as if he was trying to connect with his special grampa in his own way. After Caleb and Jocelyn went with Gramma to her school's open house and Micaiah went to bed, Elijah and I went back down to Grampa's lazy boy, kicked back the foot rest and watched a couple innings of the Cubs game. It felt like I was sitting on my daddy's lap again. It's amazing how much of my relationship with my dad I have and continue to relive with my boys. Grampa's not here... but he lives on anyway. God bless you Daddy.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
How cool is this?!!!
My brother turns 30 next week and I wanted to get him the perfect present. He's got a bunch of friends that spend tots time together. When it's nice you can usually find them in one of their back yards with a beer and cornhole bag playing beans (that's what they call it up there). Anyway, since he's moving into a new place and won't have the luxury of using his roommates cornhole set, I decided to custom make one for him. He's a huge Chicago Cubs fan.
What do you think?



What do you think?
Friday, April 20, 2007
Everyone did what was right...
Judges 17:6 & Judges 21:25
In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
As the Virginia Tech tragedy plays 24/7 in the news, this one phrase from Judges keeps coming to mind. While there was clearly no moral conscience in the shooter, it amazes me how little conscience exists within the anchors, pendants and commentators... especially those at NBC.
And I suppose that we could take it one more step and be shocked by how many Americans have searched for and downloaded his photos and video. What value could his rantings possibly have for any of us?
Thinking back to this phrase I focused on the main story that it bookends. Nearly the entire space between (chapter 19 to 21) is consumed with a violent, bloody story of a Levite (of the priestly tribe of Israel), his unfaithful concubine (nothing more than property), the violent sexual perversion of Gibea (a Jewish City where they were required to be hospitable) and the slaughter and near annihilation of the tribe of Benjamin. All along the story, the reactions to sin become more and more violent, devastating and irreversible.
Perhaps the most tragically ironic part comes after the people of Israel swear an oath to God to utterly destroy the tribe of Benjamin and realize how bad that decision was. However, they find themselves in a bit of a quandary. If they don't cut off Benjamin, they break their oath to God. If they do cut off Benjamin, they negate the very promises and provisions of God to protect and preserve Israel and the 12 tribes.
How vastly different would this story have been if there was a king in Israel? I'm sure the people had this thought. A strong king who could levy consequences would have rightly punished the Gibeanites and saved the nation this tragedy. However, they failed to recognize that the nation of Israel did have a king. God Himself was their King. He spoke to them face to face at Sinai, He lead them through the wilderness, He parted seas, He fought for them throughout Canaan, and He protected them by raising up dynamic and faithful leaders as His representatives. And yet, the people of Israel failed to see the value and superiority of this Theocracy.
Over 230 years ago, our nation was founded on such an ideology. We would be a nation "under God" dedicated to the law of Scripture and morality of the Bible. Yet today, we forbid children to pray or even utter the names of God (unless it's in profanity) in school. We have removed God's law (the 10 Commandments) from our legal system. We have raised up and protected the rights of individuals above the nation and community God established. We have made righteousness an outcast and insanity a celebrity. And everyone does what is right in their own eyes.
We need to put the King back on the throne.
In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
As the Virginia Tech tragedy plays 24/7 in the news, this one phrase from Judges keeps coming to mind. While there was clearly no moral conscience in the shooter, it amazes me how little conscience exists within the anchors, pendants and commentators... especially those at NBC.
And I suppose that we could take it one more step and be shocked by how many Americans have searched for and downloaded his photos and video. What value could his rantings possibly have for any of us?
Thinking back to this phrase I focused on the main story that it bookends. Nearly the entire space between (chapter 19 to 21) is consumed with a violent, bloody story of a Levite (of the priestly tribe of Israel), his unfaithful concubine (nothing more than property), the violent sexual perversion of Gibea (a Jewish City where they were required to be hospitable) and the slaughter and near annihilation of the tribe of Benjamin. All along the story, the reactions to sin become more and more violent, devastating and irreversible.
Perhaps the most tragically ironic part comes after the people of Israel swear an oath to God to utterly destroy the tribe of Benjamin and realize how bad that decision was. However, they find themselves in a bit of a quandary. If they don't cut off Benjamin, they break their oath to God. If they do cut off Benjamin, they negate the very promises and provisions of God to protect and preserve Israel and the 12 tribes.
How vastly different would this story have been if there was a king in Israel? I'm sure the people had this thought. A strong king who could levy consequences would have rightly punished the Gibeanites and saved the nation this tragedy. However, they failed to recognize that the nation of Israel did have a king. God Himself was their King. He spoke to them face to face at Sinai, He lead them through the wilderness, He parted seas, He fought for them throughout Canaan, and He protected them by raising up dynamic and faithful leaders as His representatives. And yet, the people of Israel failed to see the value and superiority of this Theocracy.
Over 230 years ago, our nation was founded on such an ideology. We would be a nation "under God" dedicated to the law of Scripture and morality of the Bible. Yet today, we forbid children to pray or even utter the names of God (unless it's in profanity) in school. We have removed God's law (the 10 Commandments) from our legal system. We have raised up and protected the rights of individuals above the nation and community God established. We have made righteousness an outcast and insanity a celebrity. And everyone does what is right in their own eyes.
We need to put the King back on the throne.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
The Toymaker

There was once a kind gentle toymaker. He made the most wonderful toys in all the world.
Most of his toys were sold in his shop to children who would love them. But the best toys he kept in a special magical room for everyone to enjoy. The magic in this room caused the toys to come to life. Trains whistled, cars zoomed, horses pranced and dolls walked and talked like real children.
The toymaker's favorite toys were two dolls named Evan and Eva. Each day he would sing and play with the children and toys in the magical room.
One day a stranger entered the room. He told Evan and Eva about another magical land outside the toymaker's shop where even more wonderful things waited for them. Soon, the stranger convinced Evan and Eva to leave the magical toy room with him.
As soon as Evan and Eva left the toymaker's shop they realized they made a mistake. The world outside was not magical or wonderful. It was cruel and dangerous, just like the stranger who tricked them into leaving the toymaker's shop.
Before they could turn around and run back to the toymaker, the stranger scooped them up and stuffed them into a big dark bag. Evan and Eva were afraid.
When the bag finally opened, Evan and Eva were placed in two glass cases in the stranger's own cluttered toy store. On the outside of the glass cases were written the words, "for sale."
Evan and Eva were being sold. They wondered who would buy them. Would they be loved like the toymaker loved them? Would they be split up? Would they be stuck with the stranger forever?
Days and weeks went by. Evan and Eva were lonely and sad. They wished that they had never left the magical toy room. They wished that they had never talked to the stranger. One day, the door to the strangers toy store opened and they heard a friendly familiar voice, it was the toymaker.
"I've come for my friends," he said, "please give them back to me."
The stranger grinned, "But I cannot give them back to you, I did not take them. They chose to leave your toy shop on their own. I simply found them outside and have kept them safe, hoping to find a willing buyer. Are you interested in buying them back?"
"I love them very much, "said the toymaker. "They are like my own children. I'll give you whatever you ask for them. How much do you want?"
The stranger wrote some words down and a piece of paper and passed it to the toymaker. Without saying anything, the toymaker turned around and left the stranger's toy store. Evan and Eva were alone again. They wondered if the toymaker would ever come back. They wondered if the price was too high.
One day passed by. Two days passed by. Three days passed by. Evan and Eva were even more sad than before.
Before the stranger was able to turn off the lights or lock up the store on the third day, the door opened and the toymaker walked in. Over his shoulder he carried the largest sack Evan or Eva had ever seen.
"They are all there," said the toymaker, "every one."
He set the bag down with a loud jingly thud. When the stranger opened the back, Evan and Eva could see every one of the toymaker's magical tools. The stranger began to smile and laughed with excitement. The toymaker however, quietly opened Evan and Eva's cases, placed them in his arms and left the store. Evan and Eva were very happy to be going home.
As the toymaker set his friends down back in the toy room, Evan whispered, "Toymaker, why?"
"Why?" questioned the toymaker. "Why what?"
"Why did you trade your precious magical tools for a couple of silly dolls that ran away?"
"Oh Evan my friend," answered the toymaker, "there is no magic in those tools or even in this play room. The magic is found in my love for you and Eva. I placed it inside of you when I made you. My love for you lead me to find you, buy you back and bring you home. You are mine once again and nothing will change that, forever."
Most of his toys were sold in his shop to children who would love them. But the best toys he kept in a special magical room for everyone to enjoy. The magic in this room caused the toys to come to life. Trains whistled, cars zoomed, horses pranced and dolls walked and talked like real children.
The toymaker's favorite toys were two dolls named Evan and Eva. Each day he would sing and play with the children and toys in the magical room.
One day a stranger entered the room. He told Evan and Eva about another magical land outside the toymaker's shop where even more wonderful things waited for them. Soon, the stranger convinced Evan and Eva to leave the magical toy room with him.
As soon as Evan and Eva left the toymaker's shop they realized they made a mistake. The world outside was not magical or wonderful. It was cruel and dangerous, just like the stranger who tricked them into leaving the toymaker's shop.
Before they could turn around and run back to the toymaker, the stranger scooped them up and stuffed them into a big dark bag. Evan and Eva were afraid.
When the bag finally opened, Evan and Eva were placed in two glass cases in the stranger's own cluttered toy store. On the outside of the glass cases were written the words, "for sale."
Evan and Eva were being sold. They wondered who would buy them. Would they be loved like the toymaker loved them? Would they be split up? Would they be stuck with the stranger forever?
Days and weeks went by. Evan and Eva were lonely and sad. They wished that they had never left the magical toy room. They wished that they had never talked to the stranger. One day, the door to the strangers toy store opened and they heard a friendly familiar voice, it was the toymaker.
"I've come for my friends," he said, "please give them back to me."
The stranger grinned, "But I cannot give them back to you, I did not take them. They chose to leave your toy shop on their own. I simply found them outside and have kept them safe, hoping to find a willing buyer. Are you interested in buying them back?"
"I love them very much, "said the toymaker. "They are like my own children. I'll give you whatever you ask for them. How much do you want?"
The stranger wrote some words down and a piece of paper and passed it to the toymaker. Without saying anything, the toymaker turned around and left the stranger's toy store. Evan and Eva were alone again. They wondered if the toymaker would ever come back. They wondered if the price was too high.
One day passed by. Two days passed by. Three days passed by. Evan and Eva were even more sad than before.
Before the stranger was able to turn off the lights or lock up the store on the third day, the door opened and the toymaker walked in. Over his shoulder he carried the largest sack Evan or Eva had ever seen.
"They are all there," said the toymaker, "every one."
He set the bag down with a loud jingly thud. When the stranger opened the back, Evan and Eva could see every one of the toymaker's magical tools. The stranger began to smile and laughed with excitement. The toymaker however, quietly opened Evan and Eva's cases, placed them in his arms and left the store. Evan and Eva were very happy to be going home.
As the toymaker set his friends down back in the toy room, Evan whispered, "Toymaker, why?"
"Why?" questioned the toymaker. "Why what?"
"Why did you trade your precious magical tools for a couple of silly dolls that ran away?"
"Oh Evan my friend," answered the toymaker, "there is no magic in those tools or even in this play room. The magic is found in my love for you and Eva. I placed it inside of you when I made you. My love for you lead me to find you, buy you back and bring you home. You are mine once again and nothing will change that, forever."
In Repair
In Repair,
John Mayer
Continuum
Too many shadows in my room
too many hours in this midnight
too many corners in my mind
so much to do to set my heart right
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
I am in repair
I am in repair
Stood on the corner for awhile
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hope that it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
I am in repair
I am in repair
Ohhhh Now i'm walking in the park
all of the birds they dance below me
maybe when things turn green again
it will be good to say you know me
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
never really ready
I'm never really ready
I'm in repair
Im not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
John Mayer
Continuum
Too many shadows in my room
too many hours in this midnight
too many corners in my mind
so much to do to set my heart right
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
I am in repair
I am in repair
Stood on the corner for awhile
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hope that it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
I am in repair
I am in repair
Ohhhh Now i'm walking in the park
all of the birds they dance below me
maybe when things turn green again
it will be good to say you know me
Oh its taking so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
never really ready
I'm never really ready
I'm in repair
Im not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair
I'm not together but i'm getting there
Monday, April 09, 2007
The Heart of Life
"The Heart Of Life"
John Mayer
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is goodI know it's good
John Mayer
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is goodI know it's good
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Creativity...
How is it that the more I want or try to be creative, the more I'm sucked into a linear world of concrete thinking and pragmatism. There are days that I just want to go home, pull out my guitar and breathe with the strings. I keep finding myself plugging my ipod in and shutting out the world, the noise, the people and getting lost in jazz or blues or something random. I think I have poetry inside of me... I think it wants out but I can't seem to remember where I left it. I haven't drawn, painted, sculpted or done much artistically since high school. I'm pretty sure that I was made to be more of a creative person and life has somehow forced me into a different mold. I've been watching my son Caleb pull out the art box, paints, legos or his guitar and praying that he never loses his artistic, creative imagination. We like to play this word game we call the silly game. It starts with wrestling or snuggling and evolves into silly threats. I'll say, "you better watch it buddy or I'll tickle you until you pee!" Then he'll say, "if you do that I'll cover you in jelly and let ants crawl all over you!" Then I say something like, "if you do that, I'll lock you in a closet full of spiders!" The game can continue with funny, gross, even greusome stuff for quite a while. I think our longest game was about 30 minutes or so. It's really fun to hear and imagine the things he says. Creativity must be linked to innocence in some way. Maybe even naivety, simplicity. Kids never have a problem tasting the color C#minor or hearing the number blue. I can't seem to appreciate the unrealistic plot twists of 24 anymore. It's funny, the first active verb ever used of God was "created." "In the beginning, God created..." I wonder if creativity is linked to spirituality? If so, would that place Dave Matthews or John Lennon or Jim Morrison or Bob Marley on a higher spiritual plane? Perhaps if that type of creativity is possible in a life devoid of the creator of creativity, one filled with the spirit of the creator must be even more creative. So then.... what might that say about me?
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