I got home from some evening ministry at about 11:00 p.m. to find Jocelyn asleep. I was still a bit wired from being out so I decided to listen to some music on my ipod to settle in. As I lay in bed and hit shuffle play, the most unexpected song came on; "May Angels Lead You In" by Jimmy Eat World. My brother shared the song with me about a month before my father died. It's about a person who experienced compassion and care from a generous man who he was unable to thank before he died. It became a favorite during that last month and was even play at my father's funeral. As I listened to it last night, I was overwhelmed with the thought of my father's hugs. His hugs were big and tight and, though he was quite a bit smaller than me, swallowed me completely. I kept thinking, "what I wouldn't give right now for a hug from my dad." The thought of not experiencing those hugs until the other side of eternity forced me to tears. I've been pretty emotional lately but was completely overwhelmed last night. I miss my dad.
I got up this morning and looked through some pictures from our last few visits and put one of my favorite photos on my desktop as wallpaper. I miss his love.
